Roger's Rating:

With a national scandal of this magnitude, you knew it was only a matter of time before the porn industry devoted an entire film to the whole Monica/Bill thing. Never before has a situation so lent itself to X rated parody. (Though Western Visuals did one with Reagan, North, Jim Baker and Vanna White that was pretty funny.) The whole thing played like a poorly written porn script anyway, so the only question is, what took them so long? Playing the leads in this little 'wouldn't it be cool if it happened this way' drama, are Aja and Herschel Savage. Herschel is a fine actor, but come on, the star of this movie, and the scandal is the willing intern. Now, when I met Aja a decade ago at a CES show I commented that she was one of the most painfully beautiful women I have ever seen. Even today, she is a far cry more beautiful than the lusty sucking machine she portrays. (Not to mention the fact that she is far from Monica-esque from the neck down.) Oh, and for any of you who need me to spell out the particulars of this story, I have to say it's time to come out of the cave and mix in a little CNN from time to time.

We open with the President addressing the nation, assuring us all that he has never had a sexual relationship with any of the interns. Of course, he does this with the brunette head of intern Moan-ica bobbing up and down in his lap. I know she is playing a part, but that wig on Aja is not very attractive. Other than that, this smokes. As always, the beautiful brunette just swallows cock, making it vanish. Deep throating cock is an advanced skill and Aja could teach a fucking class. (If Monica is this good, no wonder Bubba risked it all to dip his wick.) Stealing a page from real life, the Prez shoots his wad all over the blue dress Monica is barely wearing.

Across town at the Department of Justice, Ms. Tripp (Raquel Devine) is spilling her guts to Kyle Stone. Kyle is in a dress which could be one of three jabs. Perhaps it's a Kenneth Starr is a cross dresser crack. (Actually, that comes later.) Or it could be a jab at J. Edgar Hoover. My guess, however, is that Kyle is supposed to be Janet Reno, which is pretty funny. Trouble is, Kyle is just WAY more feminine than Ms. Reno. Raquel relates a story of Monica taking a ride in the limo with the Prez and his pal Mr. Jordan (Lexington Steele) She is certainly impressed by his massive tool, but not at all intimidated. Man that is a big penis, but she lowers herself all the way down, taking it all the way. It's tight quarters in the back of the limo, but there are some nice camera shots. Sticking with the story, Mr. Prez won't fuck poor Monica, but she has all the cock any woman could ever want taking her from behind. More hot deep throat and a number of insertion shots as Lex repeatedly fills her pussy. With no blue dress to smear, the guys splatter Monica's belly and tits with Presidential penile pudding.

The story continues with the lurid tale of an Oval Office orgy. Monica brings her girlfriends Amber. Phylissha Anne and Mila along to service the Secret Service. (Jay Ashley, Jack Hammer and Blade) That action moves quickly from couple to couple, but Aja is still the single best reason to keep your hands off the remote. There is a little too much going on at once for my taste, but if you can get past that, everything is just fine. Nicely shot sex, and Mila really delivers a hot fuck. Still, it's Aja deep throating cock and delivering that occasional silly line, that steals the shows. Facials all around to close things out.

Ms. Tripp is so upset she begins to sob. When Janet tries to comfort her, Raquel comes face to face with her own version of the Crying Game. (Question. If this is Janet Reno, why the Richard Nixon photo in the background? Mixing political slams aren't we?) No running in to the bathroom to puke for this girl, she just goes to town Kyle's cock. I love watching Raquel in a sex scene because she is the type of performer who leaves it all on the field. Great blowjob footage here, complete with quite a bit of ball sucking. Once the fucking begins, Kyle seems to have some problem staying hard, cut Raquel just fucks him as hard as she can, screaming and letting loose an incredible stream of filthy dialog that makes the whole thing sound like a phone sex call. Her screaming ?Fuck me you bitch, fuck me harder you whore? while being slam fucked from behind may be a moment for the porn hall of fame. Her reward is a big load of cum fired out onto her lips.

Things go from funny to frightening with the Vice President arrives to see the First Lady. Not that the idea of Al Gore boning Hillary isn't hideous enough to send you running for a barf bag, but the casting of this film makes it even worse. Dick Nasty, who has about a million times more charisma than Al Gore, plays the sniveling Veep. However, the real horror show begins when we get a look at Mrs. Bubba, Greta Carlson. In her leather get up, she forces Dick to his knees, and nearly forces me right out of my chair. How many times can I say that I would consider fucking the actual First Lady over a porn star? To make matters worse, Dick is in drag. Oh God, the sight of the ugly, out of shape (Though still thinner and prettier than Mrs. C.) Greta fucking a corset wearing Nasty is painful enough, but now the image of Hillary fucking Al Gore may keep me from having sex for the next few months.

In the office of the Special Prosecutor, Buck Adams, playing Kenneth Starr, has phone sex with some guy named Bob. (When all else fails, paint your enemies as homosexuals. It's weak, it flies in the face of everything the biz says it stands for, but it's tradition.) He watches a tape of the Prez in action and gets so excited he can't keep his hands off cleaning woman Halli Aston. Odd since Buck was having phone sex with a guy and is wearing a skirt, but I guess we're supposed to ignore the gap in logic and just enjoy the joke. Personally, I rather enjoy watching Buck and assistant Ian Daniels unwrap the lovely Halli, exposing her to all sort of s debauchery. As far as I know, this was the last time anyone saw Halli fucking and sucking on film and I do miss her. Ian warms her pussy up with three fingers while the sexy redhead uses her tongue to bring him off.

This scene should have been better developed, but Halli manages to shine in her brief on screen moment.

OK, the jokes are pretty canned here, but who can help but laugh. The real life soap opera that still surrounds Monica and Bill is worthy of a good, lusty poke. This film does a fine job of that. As I said, Aja is way too thin and much to beautiful to really be Monica, but who cares? We get to watch her deep throat the Prez a few times and even take on the massive tool of Lexington Steele. The more Aja the better I say. Raquel Devine is also a world apart from Linda Tripp, but her scene smokes. Actually a little lesbian pairing between Raquel and Aja might have been cool. Halli is so under-used she is almost wasted and the massive orgy scene is good only for the facials. Now, Greta is frightening. I suggest you all just enjoy the joke of the Veep and the First Lady and quickly scan past this horror show of a scene. It's the one truly horrid moment in this movie. It's light hearted, it's fun and Aja blows the door off here. Finally, in the great tradition of our Philanderer in Chief, I leave you with this. Let me make one thing perfectly clear, I did not have sexual relations with my hand during my viewing of Ms. Aja. (Convincing enough?)

Copyright © Roger T. Pipe

Posted By Roger, www.excaliburfilms.com | 10/5/06 1:58 PM